Bologna and Tomato

So, there is more Baby Daddy drama. The boy got himself arrested this weekend. Drunk in public. Possession. The mental giant was walking home, in the dark, drunk with another of his quality friends. Now, at least he was walking, instead of driving. So he gets 1 point for that. However, I must deduct 30 points because from where he was, to where he had to go, is like 25 miles.

25 miles. Lets put this into perspective. A marathon is 27 miles. It takes marathon runners up to 4 hours to complete a marathon. And that is running, at a steady pace.

Genius was walking, staggering and generally lolly-gaggin' along. So I figure it would take him until Sunday to reach home. He is lucky that the cops came, to give him a ride. And a bed, and took a hell of a nice picture too. And yeah, thats the county he is from. So proud of that, he had to tattoo the zip code on his arm. Idiot.

So the daughter bailed him out, with money she had to borrow. And she is working while growing this fine specimen's offspring in her belly. He has been told, again, to get a job. He is not allowed to go out with his loser friends, and must wait on the daughter hand and foot. We will see how long this lasts.

And yes, they are both back, Living in my House. I think I feel my balls shrinking, just a little. All hail the King. Fuck.

His Royal Gayness has 2 'girlfriends'!! He is all a-twitter with excitement. He loves attention, and tends to get a bit whiny and bitchy without it. He has been seeing each of his boy-toys every night this week.

Dinner last night with one, animal ass sex the other night, with the other. We are all happier when the Gay King is happy. So, good for him.

I imagine this is what a typical date looks like with His Royal Gayness. He is, of course, the smaller one - the one that takes, rather than gives. I especially love the ass-less leather chaps worn by the rather large, rough looking fag. I think that is what makes the Gay King weak in the knees. And that would explain the way he walks too.

One of my co-workers got a rather strange call the other night. It was very late, going on 2 am or so. After picking up the phone, all he could hear is the sounds of wilderness, wind, and the desperate heavy breathing of someone in full blown panic mode. Then, in a terrified whisper, he heard, "Help me!! Please jesus christ, help me!" Baffled, and still half asleep, my co-worker asked, "Who is this? Hello?? Where are you?" Getting worried, that someone might be in real trouble. The breathing got deeper, more desperate, and some where in the back ground came a terrible shout. The caller literally whimpered, and the sound of a struggle ensued. My co-worker, by now, was obviously concerned, truly thinking some one he knows is in serious shit. Then he heard, "Get off the phone, Karl! You know its your turn!"

Oh shit. It was our mechanic, Karl - who is on vacation this week. My co-worker said, he thought he heard Karl sob, like a scared little girl, before the phone was hung up, and the line went dead. And it did sound a lot like Gary in the back ground, yelling at Karl. Well, whatever Karl had to do for his turn, he did not sound very happy about it.

When Gary and Karl get back, I'm sure we will get all the details. I never knew Karl swung that way. But - hey - to each his own, right? He cant really be in serious trouble, right? I mean, who gets kidnapped, taken to Deep Throat Canyon by a screaming flit for vacation?? Karl is fine. He was probably just prank calling. Yeah. That has to be it.

Ok, thats it for now. I will let you know how Baby Daddy does in the next few days on his diet of bologna and tomato sammiches, and tap water. Thats all we have in the house right now.

Peace, bitches.